A Heart's Journey

I was the first to see you, the first to hold you, the first to kiss you.

I saw your first smile.  I saw your first steps.  I heard your first word.

I read to you.  I sang to you.  I rocked you to sleep.

I took you to the zoo.  I took you to the movies.  I took you to church.

I cheered you on playing baseball.  I cheered you on playing basketball.  I cheered you on playing soccer.  

You fell, I picked you up.  Then I hugged you.

You got sick, I nursed you back to health.  Then I hugged you.   

You were sad, discouraged or angry, I listened and encouraged you.  Then I hugged you.

You were happy, cheerful, excited, I listened and encouraged you.  Then I hugged you.

You went to preschool.  I cried.  

Then, you made my heart smile.

You went to kindergarten.  I cried.  

Then, you made my heart smile.

You went to high school.  I cried.   

Then, you made my heart smile.

You graduated.  I cried.

You made my heart smile.

You lost your way.  

I lost my heart.  

                                                                                                                           N. Elaine  ©2010

~ Museum of Memories ~

An antique lamp, Grandma’s rocking chair, Grandpa’s pipe

Old record albums, old photographs, scrapbooks

matchbox cars, Barbie dolls, baseball cards

Report cards, yearbooks, diplomas

Love letters, saved dried flowers, wedding gown

Baby crib, stroller, car seat

Bibs, onesies, “Blankie”

First shoes, first suit, first bra

Forgotten toys, favorite bedtime story, that “special” bear

First catcher’s mitt, Star Wars figures, Pokemon cards

Soccer cleats, scout uniform, basketball trophy

Clay bunny, popsicle stick flowers, school valentines

U.S. President report, science project remnants, award winning poem

Prom memorabilia, graduation cap, diploma

Plastic Jack-O-Lantern, Christmas ornaments, Easter baskets

Mother’s Day cards, birthday cards, congrats cards

Beach umbrella, sand chairs, seashells

Air mattress, sleeping bags, suitcases

Old television, bookshelves, that bench to refinish

Newer ‘old’ furniture for new beginnings

Lots of old, nothing new, forgot it was borrowed, and yes the giant bunny is blue!

All stacked and packed in boxes,

Tucked away for storage,

Filled with smiles and tears, happiness and sadness.

~ Museum of Memories ~

THE ATTIC

                                                                          N. Elaine ©2010

Lost Thoughts

Seven months ago I created this blog.  Its purpose was to revitalize the writing in my soul.  Instead, it has haunted me like a phantom in the night.  Forget writer's block.  I drove straight to writer's gridlock after a stop for a cup of stage fright!  So now, after an aesthetic blog makeover, I am courageously journeying forth risking uncertain heights of humiliation to share the thoughts and creations of my pen.


Of course, I am not going to be foolhardy and completely dive in head first.  So, I have chosen something fun and lighthearted for my first 'official' post.  It is something I wrote 32 years ago.  I vaguely remember it being a poem assignment for English class in high school.  I have tweaked it a bit, since the more mature and literate me of present noticed some errors of the more youthful me who originally penned it.  And, in no way am I stating that I am now an authority on the art of writing.  Just saying.

 Old Man Brown

In between the mountains,

I found a little town.

Nobody lives there.

Except Old Man Brown.

Complete with saloon and general store,

It takes you back to the wild, wild west.

Dancing girls, gunfights, and outlaws galore, 

The town was bustling with life and zest.

There, he sits, drinking alone on a stool.

Lonely though, he is not,  I know.

For he has a companion, a buddy, a pal,

In his little old donkey named General Beau.

Now both of them are gone.

There's quiet in the town.

Only memories to live on,

Of Old Man Brown.

                                                                                          Nancy Harrah 78'

God Made Uncles---

God knew the need for someone 

To add humor to our hearts.  

Someone who would spice 

Our lives with laughter and mischief. 

Someone we could run to
For special comfort and friendship; 

Someone whose life would
Touch ours in a Hundred different ways... 

So He made Uncles.

Taken from http://www.freepoemsonline.net/poems-htm/uncle2.htm

In Memory of my Uncle Danny Harrah who lost his battle with lung cancer on Friday, July 2, 2010.

Shedding Light

So, looking at this blog, it proves that I haven't written as much as I had planned so far this year. Life responsibilities tend to plague my time. Not that I feel like my family hinders my artistic expression.  Let's just say that no one has completely adjusted to me taking personal time, although, they are beginning to comply.

Of course, I haven't been totally devoid of creative time. I have just been more inspired in the physical art form than in the 'word', although many times while working on a card or photos, a spark of semantic creativity emerges only to flee as quickly as it appears. I believe I need to sew/staple/glue or otherwise adhere a notebook and pen to my hip in order to document my thoughts as they come.


Even now I have things swirling around throughout my cranium but there are so many and I am so tired I know it will not make a lick of sense. Wow, what a phrase. See, I told you, when I begin to get tired, sometimes that is when everything begins to flow out of me. Why is that? No wonder I've never been able to go to bed early or stay asleep completely. Now, you are probably wanting to tell me to keep a notebook by my bed and to jot down these thoughts at night when they awake me from slumber. I do.


However, since I am not in bed, yet, I will shed some of these thoughts here so that perhaps tomorrow I will transform them into sensible and discerning thought processes and eloquent prose. One can always hope.


Love
Hate
Color
Dolphins
Haiti
earthquake
dogs
children
movies
blessings
tragedies
rich
poor
healthy
purpose
deadlines
financial aid
pride

From Caterpillar to Butterfly

Welcome to Thoughts of a Bright Mind in a Dark Room....a new year, a new blog.   You probably can guess by the title and photo what it will entail.  Let me state up front that it will always be my best of intentions to always try and inspire, illuminate and maybe even amuse those who wish to visit here. 

Every year, we all seem to go through it, establishing resolutions or changes we hope will stay for good.  We make our 'top ten'.  Well, this year, mine has become the 'Top Twenty'.  Exercise more.  Eat less.  Lose weight.  I expect now you may be wondering if those first five have just melted away?  Seriously, what do you think?  The most exercise I have managed to pull off this first week is de-decorating and grocery shopping and maybe a few dozen trips up and down the stairs. 

Some of my other resolutions, or should I now say, goals include:  Save more money.  Write everyday.  Let me expand on that one.  I mean write something WORTHWHILE everyday other than a grocery list or school note.  Take more photos and aspire to a more accomplished amateur photographer.  That might be two in one.  Make at least four cards (my other obsessive hobby) per week.  Be more positive.  Listen to music more often.  Read more novels.  Finish all those home projects that have been begging to be completed over the last five years.  Discover a new career I will love.  I will elaborate here too.  

For the last 18 years I have had a wonderful and fulfilling career being a fulltime mom.  My kids, like everyone else's, are wonderful and incredible.  Yet, as in every other family, in two years the nest will empty.  So, with that comes my next goals --- finish some online classes and obtain that Master's degree that I have longed for recently.  I would also like to sell a photo or two and maybe some cards.  And, of course, the most noteworthy of resolutions of all ---- love my family more and find more patience in my life.  That may not equal 20, yet give me time, I am sure I will add more.  If not, my family most assuredly will!

Yet with all these goals to aspire towards, undoubtedly there will be setbacks and failure.  I will not worry over what does or doesn't happen.  I am focusing my energy on four ‘Ps’ this year:  patience, perseverance, positivity, presence.  Patience, for change takes time.  Perseverance, for with change comes weakness and failures and one must not quit at the first failure.  Positivity, for a good, positive attitude helps dissolve the weakness and failure or at least to deal with it more quickly.  Presence, for one must be completely committed and involved in the process of change for it to work.

Some changes are well underway, as here with this blog.  It's purpose is to explore my thoughts, document my changes of success and/or failure, and to share them all with whomever decides to pull up a virtual chair alongside me.  It also is a challenge to get me writing more, photographing more and creating more and combining them all.   And, just as a caterpillar weaves its cocoon in preparation to change into something better, I look forward to my own transformation as the year passes and to have it here to look back on in retrospect.

Here's to 2010 being a year of great changes!


N. Elaine